Single Mum On Holiday

"Might I join you?"

"No, we're having a family birthday party."

So I wander along to another table, with two couples  sitting at it, and, again, nervously, ask whether I might be able to take a seat there.

I swore never to attempt another sailing/beach resort holiday alone with my children, and here I am again, £4500 later, experiencing just the same thing.

This time its a Nielson holiday, rather than Sunsail which appears to be a bit on the ropes regarding beach holidays.

At Nielson, unlike Sunsail, they have a 'Social Table' which is the biggest one, so is usually occupied by the largest, happiest family groupings of all.  I would be fine all alone in a villa miles from anyone, but being surrounded by literally 100 functional happy families I find very difficult.

Networking is my thing, so I regularly invade various families every mealtime, but this time round so far none of them has proved very interesting.  Except for Jake, the professional weightlifter turned tooth implanter, with tinted hair, aged 51 but who looks ten years younger.

He is here with his two sons and is not interested in talking to anybody because he spends his working day making small talk to people who cant reply.

There is increaing unrest, shortly to become full rebellion I suspect, because it is a sailing holiday, but no one has as yet been out in a boat.  The quiet bay appears to have turned into a surfing beach so the black flag's up and we're not allowed to.

Both children have turned feral and have disappeared. So I have met my main objective which is for them to thrive socially in their kids clubs.  But they're not going to learn to sail.

And I'm not going to bump into a wealthy hearty six foot hunk of single posh Dad.