Revenge!

Ex's old office bit back on Saturday.

I've always hated what he called 'The Bothie'.  It is the sort of shed beloved by men, for escaping from their wives. It is where Ex and his team used to prepare his polar expeditions.  The only time I set foot in it was to make tea or to find things of extreme urgency that he had lost or forgotten, that he needed while he was away.  He has totally cleared it of all things polar now, but I still experience waves of stress every time I open its door.

Since Ex left, Revered Son bribed his 82 year old granny to sign the form at the hardwear store, allowing him to purchase cans of spray paint in black, blue and red.  The next morning I discovered that he and his friend and sprayed the entire building, inside and out, with graffiti, saying things like "Cheryl Cole Shagable" (sic).  Ex took the defacing of his beloved Bothie very well, and Revered Son has since repainted the inside white, and it now houses some old sofas and a ping pong table.

I opened the door of the Bothie to show it to my guests, shortly after their arrival on Saturday, explaining to them how much I hated it, although teenagers and men seem to like it for no obvious reason to me. As I talked the door took on a life, or death, of its own, and a panel slowly fell out, landing on the earth below. Then a second one went 'plonk' too.  I looked down to see a third panel slowly sliding down, and then a fourth.  By now the whole of the bottom half of the door was missing.  I carefully piled up the planks of wood against a nearby wall, and continued with my tour of the house that Sashka, Kathy, Esteemed Partner and I had worked so hard on to make look immaculate.

By the time I had finished the tour and reached Granny's house in Dorset, I found myself very upset by the entire experience of renting my home out to strangers, and was relieved to be spoilt silly by her for two days, during which time I have slowly regained my old composure.