Decree Nisi

God, if it were as difficult and expensive to get married as it is to get divorced, I am sure there would be far fewer marriages, and far fewer divorces as a result.  That would put a lot of lawyers out of business!

My lawyer charges £25 for every email sent and received by her, even if it's just one word long!  I emailed her at vast expense saying "Sorry I havent been very polite recently, but I feel I can't email to say 'thanks' if it costs me twenty-five quid every time!"

I discovered from some form that a Decree Nisi, if that's how you spell it, was issued last November. News to me. Haven't a clue what it means.  Anyway, apparently our financial arrangements have been 'sealed' so I am now officially broke, and am about to go overdrawn for the first time since I was 35.  And I have just signed a thing applying for a 'Decree Absolute' which means we should be divorced in a few weeks time.

Hurray! At bloody last! This has all taken so long - the process started back in October 2009 - that I feel I hardly care any more.  Although it must be weird being a divorce lawyer, or in 'family law' or whatever they call it, because there is absolutely nothing pleasant for the poor clients about anything to do with the experience, except possibly the sick sort of adrenaline rush you get when  documents affecting the rest of your life suddenly appear in you Googlemail Inbox.

The worst bit was writing down all our belongings and allocating what to whom. Walking from room to room listing them all, it brought back memories of eighteen years ago when life was all so exciting, moving into our new home, deciding where all his antiques and glassware, and our wedding presents still arriving from Harrods and John Lewis,  would go best - the years ahead beckoning in a sunny sort of way, right into our dotage.  We've agreed that he's going to keep all his family's 'wealth' - including six Royal Worcester miniature porceleine coffee sets, and I will keep the modern things you can't sell, such as curtains.

Let's hope he doesn't decide to take everything away immediately, or I won't have anywhere to put things down on.