B&B-itis

I can't think about anything else!  Every spare minute - while Beloved Daughter practises Ballade on the piano, or gorges herself on Nutella and B&B leftover bread for breakfast - there I am on my i-pad, checking my ranking on Trip Advisor and making myself frustrated and envious as I compare my marks with other establishments' 10 out of 10s!  I had no idea I was so competitive.  I think it's an addiction.

Further to my last post, I've been tweaking my website daily, so that when guests arrive they are braced to find no hanging space and a total absence of what I have rather cleverly referred to as  'slick, sleek, urban chic'.

As I said before, I want them to realize that I am the most expensive B&B on Dartmoor (I have started loosing blobs under the 'value for money section')  because of (1) the amazing location,  and (2) my brilliant service and personality. Not because I offer the most utterly incredible rooms in the universe.

I've pulled back from the 'you may find muddy pawprints and the shower's temperamental' allusions,  but on the inside pages I have broadly hinted at such things.

Anyway, the results of my obsession are now there for all to see.  I am inordinately proud, smug and boring about it.  Read on.

I had my monthly meeting with my local girlfriends (The Thunderbirds) plus partners last night, and asked them to play my new game.  "Anyone with Safari on their phones, plug in 'Luxury Dartmoor B&B' on Google Search " I ordered them.

Hah hah!!!  Up came Wydemeet!! SECOND!!!! Out of 180 B&Bs on Dartmoor!!  Page ONE!  Along with Bovey Castle and Browns Hotel!  How clever am I?  So all these hours and days spent giving myself headaches and getting irritable, immersing myself in Search Engine Optimization (SEO to geeks), has been worth it! Maybe I have a new career here!

So all is going according to plan, and my next stage will be to sack all the agents who charge me 15% commission on every booking made through them, and wait for guests to come flooding in to me direct!

Except that they're not.  Demand has fallen off a cliff. Null pointes. Zero.  I've got two more couples in October and then that's it.  Such a weird life.

Meanwhile I think I've booked the house out for a week over Christmas to a lovely sounding extended family with small children and three dogs (eek); as well as receiving my first enquiry for summer 2014.  Directly through my newly highly visible website as is now usual. Preen.

So dear Sashka is back to normal, catering just for Lady Muck, who lies in bed til 10.30am now she's got the chance to do so again.  But the difference is that I am feeling financially secure again, for the first time since the marriage bust-up four years ago. Yes - those children will benefit from an elitist, privileged, divisive education, turning them into people who haven't got a clue about the real world. Why? Why do we kill oursevles to achieve that?  God knows.